The Art of Saying No

To Say or To Not Say “No”

Barber: “Do you like it?”

Me: “Yep perfect”

Proceeds to hide my cut in a cap until it grows back

How often has this been the case with us? Compromising our needs so that others can meet theirs can be tedious in long run. At the cost of fitting in and maintaining momentary peace, we would end up feeling bad for ourselves. It isn’t bad to do something for others but it’s better to allot yourself the time and effort you need yourself by learning to say no without being hesitant about it.

Most of the time it is so difficult to refute situations due to a lack of information regarding why exactly are we refusing. There’s always chaos in sharing the detail or not sharing the detail.

The subtle line between being affable and assertive can be difficult to assess. But then you can always choose both with a little conscious. Being assertive without offending others is a commendable skill to master.

“We should cultivate the ability to say no to activities for which we have no time, no talent, and which we have no interest or real concern. If we learn to say no to many things, then we will be able to say yes to the things that matter most” was quoted by Roy Blauss

Saying no might look like we are offending or undermining our capacity to be useful to others. Contradictory to this, it often means we are saying yes to things that matter more. Having this kind of outlook on critical situations can pump up our confidence while saying no. Polite but close-ended responses always give you a knack for the situation.

After acing the art of saying no the major succeeding obstacle would be to not feel guilty about it. It’s always better to say no to something you are incapable of accomplishing and to hold your ground. It is important to understand that everyone is a human being with Limitations just like the other peers and to recognize, respect them and take care of oneself.

How to say no (without sounding rude)

The whole trick is to say no with confidence without feeling guilty, shame, or hesitant

So here are some quick tips which can come in handy while saying no

● A direct response is always your go-to option. A” No” accompanied with a respectful tone and a supporting explanation would prevent mixed signals and make your task hassle-free

● Euphemism, the word no has a negative aura to it that we would rather avoid. To overcome this, we could replace the word no with another positive word or a phrase suitable to the scenario

● If it is in your hands, you’d rather check upon the request later asking in for some time and space. This tip would be suitable in a professional setup

● If an outright No is too much for it, you could come up with an alternative that would relatively have much less burden on either party.

● Showing Gratitude to the situation while simultaneously saying no to it would show how thankful you are for the opportunity nullifying the negative aura accompanying the response in the beginning

● A no isn’t a denial forever. It could be beneficial for either party in the long run. Having a clear understanding of this thought would build up your confidence

● Understanding the implications of saying yes would always push you forward to say no

● A very clear communication of no is enough. You don’t owe long explanations to others

Just because you can do it doesn’t mean you have to do it.

You might contain yourself from saying no out of respect for others but by learning the art of saying no, you increase the respect, others have towards you.

--Kavya